Last post I promised some tips on coping with conflict in work, friend, and family relationships. I feel like I’m an expert on that these days, because the last few months I’ve had some real nasty stuff sent my way from unexpected places. Well, pretty much only one place but it was really nasty, so it felt like I was being really being blasted!
I’m betting that I’m not the only one who has ever felt hurt by someone who was liked and trusted. Now as Dr Phil says, no matter how flat you make the pancake there are always two sides. However in this situation there seems to only be room for one side. What do you make of that, Dr Phil?
But when life throws some lemons at us, we always have the choice to be a lemon-splat victim or to make lemonade, right? At their best, relationships make life a more meaningful and fun. But life being life, relationships sometimes are less about joy and more about learning important lessons (sigh).
So why am I going on about this? Last post I promised to share some energetic tips on coping with difficult relationships. Here they are. I hope you find them helpful if you find yourself in a yucky spot with someone else:
- Strong boundaries: Strong boundaries, including energetic boundaries, are sooooo important, especially during a conflict with someone else. If you need a refresher on how to ensure good energy boundaries, click here.
- Don’t hang on to negative feelings any longer than you absolutely must. Going over and over what happened will drag you down and not change anything. Easier said than done, I know, but there are ways to release emotions. Meditation and prayer can be helpful, as well as talking through it with a friend or a therapist. One of my favourite tools for acknowledging and releasing stuck emotions is (drumroll…) tapping, or EFT. It really is an amazing tool that is easy to learn and do. Click on the gif below here to be led through a video that I made today on how to tap on difficult emotions. (As a special bonus, our Frenchie cross Gemmy makes a cameo appearance)
- Spill it! Even with all of the energy tools I know and used, I found I was still hanging onto some of the nastiness. What helped me release the last of it was writing down everything about this situation that was still hurtful, as well as what, in an ideal world, would make me feel better about it. So, if you need a bit of an extra boost to stop what happened from making you crazy, grab a pen and notebook or scrap paper and set your timer for at least 20 minutes. Scribble away without stopping until you feel like you are done. Feel free to include a very detailed description of the apology that you feel you are owed, if that makes you feel better (I know it helped me!). Then shred or burn this, you don’t want it hanging around contaminating your space!
- A gentle response: Once you’ve released some of the intensity of feeling around the situation (and remember, it’s for your sake, not theirs!), you might want to consider taking Pierre Pradervand’s advice. He is the author of The Gentle Art of Blessing. In the book, Pradervand shares how a difficult and unfair work situation led to him quitting a job that he loved. In the aftermath, he developed, in his words, “a deep-seated and all-consuming resentment such as I had never experienced before against the people who had put me in this impossible situation.” It is worth reading the book to learn more about his three year downward spiral after leaving the job, and what led to him making the choice to bless those who had hurt him. It was life changing for Pradervand, and eventually led to him consciously blessing every person and being around him. If adopted, he says, this simple practice will transform you and your world. Although I didn’t remember to bless the person who cut me off in traffic yesterday, I do aspire to do this more, for my sake as much as the other person. Click here to go to Pradervand’s website.
- Spend time with people who love you and understand you, and who will hug you (even if it’s virtually) and just generally love you up. I so appreciate a special group of friends who did this for me recently!
Okay, that’s all for now. I’m in the midst of developing a fun quiz that will be posted in the next few weeks, all about discovering your intuitive style. Are you a Diamond Intuitive? Or maybe a Sapphire? Or possible Rose Quartz is more your style. Stay tuned!